cjaymarchfandomcom-20200214-history
Nobody Likes Droopy Dog. (Lost Episode)
The Author of this Story is 'Schizima '. This is the eighty-fifth CreepyPasta that was narrated by DaveTheUseless. Do you remember those old Tex Avery cartoons? I bet you know about the famous ones, such as Daffy Duck And Bugs Burny. Sorry, I meant Bunny. Get out of my head Wilson from Home Improvement sorry I didn't mean to type that. Droopy Dog is not the most famous of the Tex Avery characters, but he sure is one of the saddest looking. I may be losing my mind, but I've become inexplicably obsessed with Droopy Dog for the past decade. I am dying inside. I have t-shirts of him I made in Corel Art Studio Pro on my mom's Hewlett Packard and even a lunchbox with scooby doo on the cover that I altered with a pen. Point being, I love that goddamn dog. His mischievous hijinks are the only reason I get up in the morning. I'm not kidding, that's the only reason. Well that and porn, and thanks to photoshop I can enjoy droopy dog in every facet of my being "Wink wink". ..Jonathan Taylor Thomas This is the part where I start lying to you. Did I say lying? I meant CRYING shrieks of horror because this is really scary. The backspace key is broken on my Hewlett Packard computer so you're just going to have to deal with it, I can't delete those keystrokes. Anyway, listen. I was going to take a bucket of sacajewea quarters to some inner city youths to buy pens and soggy pogs in someone's basement (They're paper circles you hit, they can't afford video games). I found the tape in a garbage can covered in blood. I mean it could have been ketchup, in fact it probably was ketchup. Whatever it was it was delicious on my sandwich. I have HPV, not sure if that's related. This is the part where the story becomes...terrifying. Cocaine. Get ready for your spine to tingle and goosebumps to grow on your hairless boy arms. I called my neighbor Wilson and told him that if anything happens, call 911. I pressed the "play" button with my big toe, and the VCR fell on the floor and broke. A few hours later I watched the tape. "DROOPY DOG IS GOING TO KILL HIMSELF AT THE END OF THIS CARTOON". This reminded me a lot of a Jetson's episode I watched once. The cartoon starts out normal, with Droopy Dog becoming increasingly disheveled. As time goes on, something you were familiar with doesn't seem so familiar, that's why it's scary. Droopy tries to get into antics, but no one around him pays any attention. Droopy says he's going home, and he walks off the page into the white area where nothing is filmed. This was often done in Tex Avery cartoons, but fuck you. Instead he walks onto the real life animation studio and starts strollin' down the block. The wide angle lens shows his luge feet. Huge feet. He eats a bottle of melatonin and adderall. He picks up the newspaper which reads "NOBODY LIKES DROOPY DOG." A picture of Droopy Dog is shown crying, clutching a bottle of liquor. It was then that I realized something. Droopy dog... was a man. It was a man all along, you may not have noticed it, but it is. It's a sad, older man, mid '40s, with droopy cheeks. The animation was fading now, but it quickly restored and droopy went into his house. He didn't move the real life items, instead they were for the most part crudely altered or drawn in. It was then I realized something. Droopy goes over to the nightstand and whispers "Time for my daily dose of 9 calibur aspirin, adminstered to the forehead." He takes the revolver out, loads six shots in the gun, puts on some pants and takes them off. He plays with the window blinds, sulks in the corner, and puts the gun to his head. Droopy's eyes are bloodshot. He writes a suicide note, but it's all scribbles, like the warbled parent talking on Charlie Brown. Something also hits the pen. All of a sudden, there was a knock on the door. It was Charlie Brown! He was wearing his trademark tshirt but the right side of the shirt was a straight line, like a patient's heart reading was flatlining. "Don't do this, Droopy. It's not your time yet." "But broseph, life is hopeless." Droopy says. Charlie's head was like a soft boiled egg, he was human-proportioned and the top of his head was cracked slightly. "Don't break the fourth wall, Droopy. Droopy!" I'm not your fucking dog. Droopy looked up at the roof. There was no roof, just an endless sky. "Let me tell you the meaning of life." he whispered. Suddenly, the camera cut off. Someone taped over this part with the scene in Videodrome where James Woods is naked in the fetal position. This was so horrifying that I screamed loudly and abruptly took the tape out. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH." I put it on again later. Anyway, when the scene cuts back Charlie Brown is bleeding from the head. He's visibly propped up and dead, before he slumps over. A gigantic eraser off of a giant pencil slams down and shakes the Earth, removing Charlie Brown's existence. He's gone forever. Home Improvement was a great show. The pencil comes down again, this time pointed at Droopy. Droopy picks up the gun and points it at his head. This is real, I saw it video taped, not lying. Instead, the pencil erases Eeyore, from Winnie the Pooh, who is sulking in the corner with a noose around his neck, and Meg from Family guy, who appears to have died of anorexia nervosa. I am literally burning, I am in flames. Droopy grabs the pencil before it comes down again, and he gets lifted high into the sky. Now I knew what was happening. The artist, the creator, we were going to see him. The pencil lifted for ages before Droopy looked down. It was a giant piece of paper. It was his suicide note that he had written, and his room was just a piece of an ad taped on. It even had the fucking Sears Catalogue sticker on it. I to that. God...? He gazed out at the gigantic face of Droopy Dog. It was him. "This is where suicidal cartoons go to die." Tim Allen rolled up the hundred dollar bill and put it in his nose. Down at the bottom, beneath the page, there was an endless wasteland. The infinite everything. Millions of corpses lined the floor, all kinds of cartoon characters that nobody knew about, because they were never made, or they were killed, or erased, or they killed themselves. Mildred the Paraplegic Parrot from Mildred and Friends flew up before crashing into a powerline and exploding. Never heard of Mildred and Friends? It never existed. Spoiler alert: NEITHER DO YOU! "I'm not important." Droopy said. "I have no significance. They'll just watch The Simpsons. They don't need me." He said it and the giant head said it, they were both visibly an aging man now, falling into his own psychosis. 8 pm middle America sink filled with dirty dishes rotten garbage flowing up from the tap. Distant... "I'll just fall to my death." Droopy said. His bloodshot eyes began to cry as he tried to wipe twenty years of alcoholism out of his face. He fell backwards. It was a good fifty story fall before he hit the ground. The words "The government caused 9/11" flashed on the screen. I actually really like Home Improvement, the reruns are good family friendly entertainment. For a split second, Droopy realized it didn't matter. He saw all the joy and pleasure that he never felt before. He felt the air on his breath was more pleasurable than all the diamonds and gold in the entire universe. Richard Karn. There were convicts in prison serving life sentences that would die more fulfilled and happier than he in his mental cage. He wasn't droopy dog. He was the same, nameless piece of animate carbon everyone else is. Everyone is born. Everyone will grow old and die. We all have joy and pain, we have fears, regrets. We're all hurt, and we hurt others, because we're all the same substance. I'm becoming more like a real being now, I'm weighed down, I am decaying. I was selfish. I don't exist. I'm just an idea, and not an idea people like. I used to be, and even a fading good idea, or an idea only a few people know about is better...than being someone who fucks off, sells themselves, gives away the thing that makes them real. That's why he was. And the moment they see that part of you, you lock it up, you put it somewhere no one will ever find it.. God forbid someone risk seeing you for who you really are. I don't think of it, I thought it, and now it's though of, and I'm doing it. I'm not the sum of my experiences. I am Droopy Dog. He I'd rather die than be a victim of the careless pen of my creator. Now that I'm older, and I see the world for what it really is, loneliness on top of loneliness, people who are next to each other but so distant, my regrets aren't of my dreams, fame, or imaginings. It wasn't that I'd never lived, either. I'd been so hurt for so long that I erased it. I never loved. And I did. They're all illusions, additions and subtractions of my mind. It's all an illusion, every one of us, a dying illusion. And seriously Wilson get the fuck out of my apartment I'm not going to tell you again oh fuck that's what the rest of your face looks like? Are you scared yet? Did this terrify you? I'm the real man in the closet who watches you at night. Mortality. The universe is an impermanent place filled with dirt and shit. Because your beliefs are stronger than even the steel used to make high quality Binford Tools.The joy of life felt all the more intense as he hit the ground with a thud, the sound of dog bones cracking destroying the silence. He landed on "Goodbye", the only legible word on the page. He looked up at himself. An infinite splash of salty liquid. He didn't die from the fall. He drowned in his own teardrop. He almost whispered the real meaning to life, but someone taped over the end with a nude photogallery of James Woods photoshops with extremely classy pans, zooms and star wipes. Also I taped over the tape with Family Guy reruns (That show is hilarious, what crazy antics will Peter Groffin get into next?) I am free... Category:CreepyPasta Article Category:Lost Episodes Category:Creepypastas narrated by DaveTheUseless